For the laundry...

Currently there are four piles of clothes on my floor ready to go into suitcases. The 2 suitcases I will be living out of for the next year and a half. Oy! It is actually quite refreshing to go through all my "stuff" and figure out what I will or won't need. My sisters came and raided my closet for things that I wasn't taking on my mission that i'm sure they'd appreciate and i feel so muchless cluttered now! It makes me think I shoulda done this a long time ago...and how much I need to stop putting so much emphasis on material things. It's also given me some fun laughs going through things in my shelves that I had forgotten about. Yearbooks for one. Old journals are another. Photos, tickets i've kept, other random things that have no use except for remembering thrown in five or six shoeboxes used for shoes I don't even wear anymore! Books shoved into every corner I can find, my collection has grown into a nice library. Letters, school assignments, dance pictures, binders...It has been so fun. It got me thinking all over again how wonderful my life has been. How many wonderful friends I have, who have made such a difference in my life. My family is remarkable. I love them all so much for their love, support and guidance I've been given. I have a nice roof over my head, kept nice by my father who works so hard, delicious meals to eat prepared by my talented mother, and a great community that I grew up in. (Plain City RULES!) I have been raised in the Truth and love of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and am about to embark on an 18 month service to share it with people who are ready to hear it, who need it in their lives to bring light and peace. I would not be prepared for this had it not been for my life up to this point. Though I still don't feel fully prepared, I know God will be with me.
2 Timothy 1:7 "God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." And he will Stand by me. I KNOW that. :)What a great thing to know. Out of all the things in the world, I think I would prefer to know that the most.
I couldn't have asked for a better month of fun before I left. Full of camping, hanging out with friends, traveling, going to the temple so much and going to the airshow, it has been great. I am going to miss everyone, but I'm sure It won't be too long before i get a letter/wedding invitation or two...or ten ;-) *hint nudge*
I went to green river this past week and almost stepped on a midget faded rattlesnake and floated down the colorado river. I went to the airshow yesterday and determined once again that before I die, I will fly a plane.
It's about time to switch the laundry, so I'm going to sign of with a final goodbye from myself on my blog. While I am away, Ember, my cousin whom I love, is going to take over my blog for me. I'm going to miss you very much, but know I'm doing something great! I urge you to write me every so often to tell me how your lives are playin out. I promise to write back. Pinkie promise in fact.
thank you again for everything!

BYE

*~Mel~*

MTC address (june 10-june 30)
Sister Melanie Pehrson
Arizona Phoenix Mission
Provo Missionary Training Center
2005 N 900 E
Provo, UT
84604

mission Office (June 30-Dec 2010)

Sister Melanie Pehrson
Arizona Phoenix Mission
18001 N. 79th Avenue Ste. C 50
Glendale, AZ
85308

for four twelve year old, boy crazy girls....

So...It's been awhile. And it's been a busy long while, full of preparations, to do's and last minute fun times. I would call them last minute goodbye times, but goodbyes always sound far too final and impersonal. So I'm going to call them fun times.
I'm feeling good about how the way things are playing out these last three weeks before my mission. I'm getting a lot done and squared away. I still don't comprehend the length of year and a half, but i understand it more and more every day. I got a 4.0 GPA, I have my leave of absence in, I finally got a real driver's license (Yay!) and my tetnus and Hep A shots are done. Now all I have to do is start packing and pick up a few last minute items that I may have forgotten. 19 days! :D It is a really exciting thing to finally be leaving. I get to go out and serve the Lord. Sacrifice my time for God (D&C 4:4) and help others to be happy. I am grateful for friends who keep my prespective in line, who remind me when I forget. (Things that are sure: 1- God 2- Love 3- Change) I won't be forgotten and I'll come back and be blessed and happy. "Be of good cheer..." (1 John 16:33) I'm grateful that prayers are answered. I woke up this morning after a rough night of questions and tears (what else, I cry too much. I cry when I'm sad, angry, happy, frustrated, upset, guiltridden...) to have my eyes come across President Monson's talk on change and enduring it well.
"Our future is as bright as our faith." That really struck me. I realize that it is when I lose prespective on my goals, life spirals and I have a hard time forgetting myself and I wallow. But when I am faithful, and believe in myself and have something to strive for, the murkiness isn't so intimidating anymore. Anyway, his talk was an answer to prayers. I'm grateful God is sure and consistant. My mission is the most important thing in the world to me. Even when I cry about leaving.
I went to Lagoon today. Blast from the past I tell you what! I got to goof off with a bunch of twelve year old boy crazy girls. It was nuts. Fun, exhausting, worth it. I feel like a bad "babysitter" because I didn't make one of them drink enough water and I think she might've gotten heat stroke. Disorientation and nausea and the like....I will learn from that that's for sure. It was fun, but I think I've had my fill of Lagoon for the next three years or so.
I am exhausted so I think I will hit the hay. I would just like to end with a few last things.
get better
thank you for the blanket, I love it.
please don't get married while i'm gone?...or if you do, make sure it's someone I like.
thank you for hearing me.
thank you for letting me cry.
Find ways to be happy.


Sweetheart
How I miss your heart
Beating next to mine

The right words
Were always hard to find
When all our time was fine
When darling you were mine, all mine

And I know, I know you had no choice
But I how I miss your voice
Singing right with mine

Flesh of my flesh
Soul of my soul
I come back home

All this darkness, cannot hurt us
Cause they made you from the light
Here on birthplace, don't be nervous
You will make it through, this night

Sweetheart
How I miss your heart
Beating next to mine

Flesh of my flesh
Soul of my soul
I come back home

For mothers...

Happy Mother's Day to all the mother's out there! Not that any mother's read my blog...but I tried. I don't know if anyone reads my blog...but again, I try.
Truly, mother's are amazing. I once babysat for four rambuncious boys, loved it but promised myself I would not do that again. At least for a few years. It is literally a full time job and I don't know how my mom managed to deal with even the first three of us so well. And after she lost 85 pounds, she has become my hero for sticking to her guns and exercising willpower to the extreme, something I have very little of. Being a mother is an all in one job, plus they have to go through labor, which honestly sounds like one of th emost painful things in the world. And yet, I still want to be a mother one day. I must be crazy? but everyone already knew that. In fact, I want a larger family, maybe four or five kids, maybe because that's how I was raised and I find sisters/siblings really fun, despite the arguments and fights. I just hope I can be a good mom, as good as my mom.
It's been a really good mother's day. I was going to go to church with Jessika but when I remembered it was mother's day I was torn. Both were good options. As I was thinking about it, the talk "Good, Better, Best" from Elder Scott(I think) popped into my head. I knew it was Best to stay home with mom for mother's day dinner and cake. Luckily Jessika understood. The cabin is going to be lots of fun time with Jessika. We leave this friday! Yay! It'll be purely awesome.
It was worth staying home. I finally got my topic for speaking. I have a few ideas but I'm not sure where I'll go with it. AND lunch/dinner was marvelous. Fresh Halibut fish with rice and jello and salad. Mmmmm... and my mom liked her present.
There is so much to do before I leave! But not really getting ready stuff. I have most of that done. It's more on the "final hangouts", things to do before I go list. Go to the Zoo, Go to the Aquarium, Go to the Planetarium, Go to Settebello's at least once more, go to my sister's first softball game(i'm so proud she is following in my footsteps, and the coach says she's a natural), take lots of pictures, go to jess's cabin, prepare my talk, pack, so much to do so little time! I'm sure I'll get it done.
Well, it is time for the season finale of the amazing race. Yay for family traditions!

For the finished...

My Jounior year at the U is finished. That's right, things have wrapped up and tied with a bow to remember for the rest of my life. I'm feeling extremely nostalgic right now.
I'm not usually one for regrets. I find regrets pointless because it's not like you can go back and change it now. I mean take what you learn from it and move on. I have loved and hated this year both. The adjusting to the change of enviorment opened my eyes to how much I don't know. Sometimes I unfortunately regretting how I lived my life this past year. Not that I regret my friends or experiences at all, but simply that I didn't experience more. I didn't go out of my way to break out of my shell as much as I could've and as a result I probably missed out on some wonderful friendships and experiences. But like I said, taking what I learned into the future and moving, that will not be happening again. I loved the past year and I have found puzzle pieces to my life in the people and experiences I have been able to have. Blossoming under Kathy Pope's instruction, experiencing the wonderful bands of Bishop Allen, The Decemberists and Lavender Diamond, amazing dedicated friends, turning in my mission papers, the firm decision that I want to teach, the amazing education with amazing teachers, drawing closer to my family, going through the temple...so on and so forth. It's been a wonderful year, and I'm sorry to those who had to put up with my spirits of not so wonderfulness.
"Every person in this world knows something that you don't know..." This was a small part of a speech given at commencment yesterday. She was inspiring and I loved this thought. I'm going to learn all I can from the people I come in contact with.
I leave for my mission in 33 days! What a scary thought. The following month is full of packing, playing and studying and I'm supra excited to finally get going. It almost seems surreal, like I've waited so long for it and I can't even comprehend I'll be gone for a year and half. That's a long time. But I'll be arriving in Phoenix on June 30th and will be there so obviously I won't dissappear from off the face of the earth. Thank goodness for letters! *hint hint*
I had to say goodbye to a couple really good friends yesterday. Goodbyes are extremely hard for me, so I'm not sure how i'll handle the farewell thing...probably bawl. which is bad because becasue I don't really want peolple to remember me red eyed and puffy faced for the next year and a half. Hopefully I can keep my tear ducts in check.
I know a few people are putting on brave faces for my sake and that my leaving isn't a happy thing, family friends and such, but they all support me so much. I appreciate their enthusiasm on my behalf even if they are struggling. I'd just like to say Please do not dwell on the past and forget what amazing things lay ahead of them in the future if they are willing to go for it. We went to Settebello's and had a great time eatign the most delicious pizza on the planet. I said goodbye to dear Jim, who I know I'll see again in several years. I'm so proud of him. (Ultimate nostalgic song ever = "Time of your life" by Green Day...i don't actually think it's called that but it's what I call it.) after, I went to Sam's hiking portion of her party which was pretty fun becuase there was lots of snow in the mountains. What could be cooler then snowball fights in May? We didn't actually make it to the falls cause of the snow, but it was fun none the less. We all migrated to sam's house for more pizza, junk food and fun games. John Allred, a really well known local singer, whom sam loves, showed up and it pretty much made her night. An intense game of apples to apples ensued and it was wonderful. "Lucious, smart, fragrant, Glamorous, Crazed and Chunky." this is what Apples to Apples sees me as. It was probably one of the msot halarious games of that game I've ever played. We finally made it back to my house and at one in the morning, (a whole 19 and a half hours after i woke up) I was finally able to fall into bed and sleep. It was glorious.
Anyway, I must finish curling my hair...why do i put myself through this? Idk...
See you soon!

For perspective...

There seems to be a pattern developing in my life. I feel great for a couple days, meh for a day or so, and some days, usually fridays, I become an emotional monster, so look out! I make mountains out of molehills and I feel terrible for the people I subject my headaches to. I suppose studying for finals (why is it that I study so hard for so long and still hardly get anywhere, when many can study for an hour, or sometimes not at all, and they get just as good grades as I do?) and the whole immenant biggest change of my life thing doesn't help the whole emotions thing.
Feelings I should be feeling aren't there and vic versa. Feelings are overrated, but unavoidable and that is annoying.

Things I love(in no particular order): God, family, education, friends, letters, emails, facebook notifications, music, clarinet, scriptures, Jesus Christ, trees, photography, camping, the sun being warm, laying on the grass in the sun being warm, computer, Presdient Thomas S. Monson, general conference, beds/pillows, fire, talking to people until all hours of the morning, weddings, baby blessings, family get-togethers, money security in a time of economic struggle, working headphones, Hot Chocolate, Ice Cream, Writing, Reading, peace, epiphanies, UTA/public transportation...to be continued...

It's amazing what perspective can do....Back to Mozart, Hayden and Peroglesi...

For late nights...

It's so close. I've been preparing for so long that I can't believe that it is getting to be so close and I'll be gone for a whole year and a half.
Change is not my thing, but for it not being my thing, i sure do a lot of it!

for bioengineers...

It's been quite the week so far, and it has flown by! I played in master class an tuesday which went swimmingly. Better then swimmingly in fact. Glidingly perhaps? In any case, I had fun and loved performing the first two movements of the Finzi five Bagatelle's. Everyone else did extrodinary as well and I fell in love with the sound of the clarinet all over again.
Wednesday was also quite specatcular. I had great classes, I understood Form and Analysis, wind ensemble is always a good thing and I got to spend an hour downtown taking pictures again. Wow, how I love photography! I want to explore it more once i return from my mission.
Today was JAM packed. I got up early to take my grandparents to the airport. My uncle is getting married this weekend over in Pennsylvania. How exciting! We've been hoping it would happen for a long time now. My uncle is following tomorrow, which means the house will be completely empty! Institute was particularly needed, especially for what portion of Ether we were on today. I love Brother Wilcox and his remarkable teaching skills.
My mom came and picked me up after piano and we headed off to the distrubution center. I'm going through the temple next saturday! I'm very excited. Not only is it the bountiful temple but many of my family members will be able to attend. =-D It was great to spend a few hours talking to my mom. I have been blessed with wonderful parents and a loving family. I don't know how I got to be so blessed, but I'm not going to complain about it!
Creative writing was next, which is always a good class, cept i forgot my assignments that i stayed up so late last night doing. That was a little frustrating. But derek was very understanding, and things will get worked out. Thank goodness for email!
Next came Karyn! Oh How i love and miss her. She came down to surprise her boyfriend and to see me. It wasn't the normal "hanging out" as we spent all evening at a Medical Bioengineering symposium at the WEB building on campus. As dull as some may find it, I LOVED it. It was completely out of my element, and though I had a hard time connecting at times, and some things just went completely over my head, there were some things that i just couldn't stop asking questions about.
For instance, did you know that venom from poisnous animals are used very often in the production of drugs to help dieases by trageting only the mutant cells that might be causing it? One presentation discussed the advantages of using a slightly altered form of Cone Snail venom to fight very specific cells that cause neurological dieases in the Striatum(which controls fine motery skills and a few other things) completely elimnating parkinson's disease. I wondered if this kind of research could help people with the disease ASL, which my grandfather died from before I got a chance to know him on this earth. This was just one among many, many presentations that I thoroughly enjoyed. It was a whole new world (now that song is ny head! lame!) and I enjoyed exploring it. And meeting Karyn's boyfriend finally, that was good too.
finals are soon, but it feels strange to not feel as tight for time as I think I should be. I'm studying and working hard, but I feel like I'm missing something because..well idk, it just feels like there is something i'm missing. I shouldn't be this relaxed. I'm almost excited to be out of school, but only almost. I'll miss everyone.
Anyway, it's about time I made it to bed.

Farewell.

for friends...

Well it has been quite the amazing sabbath. Remarkable even. (That is my new favorite word, remarkable) Anyway, I've seen several friends that have just barely got back from their missions. The first I had to literally do a triple take before I recognized him! It was at the Plain city singles ward with my sister. Anyway, after I was sure it was him, we talked for a good while but we still gots some catching up to do! And then at the weber state concerto concert tonight that my sister was in, I saw my good clarinet pal casey wood from high school weber district! Talk about blast from the blast! he just got back two weeks ago. It's funny, as I'm leaving everyone seems to be coming back. But they all say it's the best thing I'll ever do and I completely believe them!
After the concert I was able to talk to my bestest friend JessiKa. Oh how i miss her! I don't know what I'll do without her around to call anytime and leave a message. She is my soul sister, a true kindred spirit as anne with an e would say. I was also blessed to be able to catch up with nicole and brad and katie and a few others. They are just a funny group of people, and I miss being around them. I'm excited for the trip to the cabin in may to spend even more time laughing and talking.
I also said goodbye to my friend Camie who leaves for the MTC on wednesday and planned an all nighter with Jessica so we can talk and catch up before I leave.
Today is the kind of the day that I remember I am surrounded by people who I love and who love me. I have been so blessed with amazing friends, as well as a wonderful family of adorable sisters and wonderful parents who support me. I haven't had to deal with a lot of hurt or struggles in this life and i forget how easy I have it sometimes. Thank to all those who stick by me, even through my mistakes!
I should probably get to bed. I have to get up in six hours! School is almost over, just giving that last push for that 4.0! (crossing my fingers!)

for the weekend...

Aaahh, weekends. A refreshing breeze of lazy procrastination I always seem to need.
I made it through the week and I for one feel that to be a wonderful accomplishment. Full of concerts, tests, homework, reading and everything, I wasn't sure what battle wounds I might recieve, but I made it out with barely a scratch. In fact, my renewed sense of direction in life is refreshing. I remembered why music is my major and for the first time in my life I don't feel like I'm drowning in homework and finals at the end of the semester. It's more of a wading against waste deep current at this point.
Fifty three days until I leave on my mission. Where does the time go?
Seventeen days until I'm officially done with my Jr. Year of college. I've made it this far! (But am considering a change...Dun, dun, duuuun. Who'd've thunk?)
Fourteen days until I am able to go to through the temple. How exciting!
Three days until I play in master class. Wish me luck!
Today was a good day. I went to Orem with two dear friends from high school (clarinets rule!). We went to the sister missionary mall and i bought some final touches on some final outfits and I'm quite pleased with how things went down. Bed bath and beyond was next and we just spent an hour or so just look at shower heads and bathroom towels! It was quite fun and made me want to have my own apartment to decorate however i want to. I'm thinking green tones for the bathroom. I also think it would be fascinating to base some of my "interior decorating" around the photos I take. I love photography...a lot.

Sometimes I just get so frustrated with my lack of ability to help people. I care about and worry about people. It's just what I do. I want to help. I have this strong, overwhelming desire to do so. But, I lack the tact and the ability for it. It seems what little comfort I have to offer, what little of myself I can give, they won't take and dismiss with a "you just don't understand." And I don't. I don't understand, and I probably wouldn't know what to do with it if I did have that understanding. I see people suffering and hurting and I feel like I have to be happy for everyone and when I can't be,(sometimes i'm not happy enough for myself) I just give up and shrink back and have to endure watching them be miserable, waiting for them to be okay. I pray they'll be okay, and i pray that i'll be able to be there when they are.

for nights like these...

Some nights are for thinking. You know the type, when your mind seems to be wrapped up in past and future both at the same time and a sense of nostalgia sweeps over you, but excitement and a little of fear of the future push their way into your gut? The 'shoulda coulda woulda's" tugging at the heart strings and the shoulds woulds coulds seem to be so many. I'm not sure why, but the acoustic guitar always seems to be the instrument of choice at times like this...weird.
tonight, is one of those nights.
I can't help but feel tangible change push into my life. (tangible isn't the right word, but sometimes, it doesn't matter). It's a simple anaology but it's like the changeing of the seasons that I love so much. The seasons changing is something that I really love about Utah. Exciting, crisp, fresh. That's how i feel now, and perhaps it's amplified by the first appearance of something that was trying to be a spring rain yesterday. But in any case, there is a shift that has occured, even within the last week. I'm trying not to be afraid of it.
General Conference begins tomorrow. Or rather...later today. I am more than excited to have the church gathering and to hear the words of God through his prophets, and for the oppirtunity to assemble together. Thank you technology! Despite the views of any, no one can deny what a wonderful, truly charitable person President Thomas S. Monson is. I'm so excited to hear his soothing, comforting voice, telling his silly stories and telling us what God wants us to hear as a whole. (*shakes head* him and his photographic memory.) I'm grateful God does speak through him.
I know i get frustrated a lot. I know I make big deals out of little deals. I know "it's just a movie" and I know I should be in bed. I know people put up with so much from me. I get jealous and sometimes wish for things I shouldn't wish for and it makes me sick to think of things I've done/not done to make people hurt. I'm not the best at understanding and listening. I'm simply still getting the hang of this tightwire balance game called life...but I'm working on it. Slowly but surely pressing forward. So truly thank you to all those who love and forgive me for my short comings, which sometimes makes me overwhelmed and frustrated, which just makes the people around me more amazing because the put up with me being frustrated and hard headed! What a silly little vicious cycle.
Life is beautiful...just as my favorite movie of the week iterates. If you haven't ever seen it, i encourage you to. right now. serioulsy, go out and see it, and I promise you won't regret it. I've never been one to dislike life, there are so many little excitments and things to notice to dislike it, but, there is something about life that is so...that seems so...full of vitality? lol well..duh...I understand what I feel but not what I say so why say things at all? It just makes me sound like I'm being ridiculous. Well, maybe that's not such a bad thing.

for farewells

A weekend full of good friends - new and old - beautiful music, long, tumble weed invested drives to richfield, library excursions, and practicing sure does make for quite the wonderful weekend. But mostly, it was just great to see so many friends this weekend.
Practicing went well, though discouragment took it's course again, and to certain people...sorry...but i got a lot done. Jaron and Racheal, met Nick and I at the university and we headed down to the downtown library which was...big as usual. It's so intimidating to me and I've decided to not go there again unless I have a game plan. Any particular books/authors anyone suggests? I ended up getting two books. "Surprised by Joy" by CS lewis, which i'm supra exicted for and "1984" by George Orwell, which i hear is really really frustrating...but we'll see.
Crown burgar was our next distination and we had a good old time joking and eating an insane amount of grease. Mmmhmmm..my favorite.
The utah symphony was next, as we crazy college kids walked in, me in shorts and nick in a t-shirt. We got a few not so discret looks from the elderly, probably wondering how the youth of today has such little respect for such an art. Well, jeans or not, the symphony was fabulous. Korngold's Violin Concerto was my favorite part. The soloist was playing so hard she broke the string but her stage presence was superb! It didn't even phase her. The second violinist just pulls out another string and they started the third movement over. The Charles Ives section was interesting but did make me giggle several times. Particularly the last piece, "Variations on 'America'". I liked his piece about the meaning of life as well, but you might just have to do your own research on that one.
I wasn't feel well at all after the concert so Nick drove me home. Besides Ember Dawn was waiting and I felt bad when I walked in and told her I was going to bed and went to sleep. But it was needed, because we had an early morning.
We got up and were out of here at eight thirty to head to Richfield to a dear friend's farewell. Matt Palmer has been called to the Omaha Nebraska mission. Those lucky Nebraskans! Matt is a wonderful person and I'm so excited for him and he is enthusastic himself. I got to see Melissa Rowley and Keith also. We talked and laughed and shared stories and talked and laughed some more. It was a wonderful time!
I would love to talk about this more, however, bed is calling me and my eyes are really tired so...till next time...

PS I speak on May 31st, case anyone's interested.

For the chocolate lover..

So, first off, I would like to apologize to anyone I might've been a jerk to yesterday. I don't know what was wrong with me, but my temper just kept getting the better of me and after I got angry of myself about it, that opened the door to a whole bunch of negitive thoughts and many of you know how it goes down. One gets in and you spend the rest of the day fighting off negative thoughts and beating whoever is putting them in there out, which just made me more irratible. It was quite frustrating but I have wonderful friends who are forgiving and understanding. I appreciate them.
Second off, Cannoli is amazing. I made some homemade cannoli on thursday with my good friend Nick and it was my first experience with it. Wow as fun as the cooking was, which it very much was fun, it was a delectible sugary dessert of chocolaty goodness! And we all know how much I love chocolate.
Yesterday did get better after I went out to eat at noodles n' company. I'm glad I could discover that cheesy goodness as well! And chocolate cake again did it's trick and mended my unhappiness with myself. We spent about fourty five minutes in the Downtown library, which i find an amazing building and then headed back up to the university for the concert, which I thoroughly enjoyed. It went really well overall, even though I have had my fair dose of Pathfinders of Panama, Dusk and Resplendent Glory. The audience loved it and that is always such a high for me! "come thou fount of every blessing" is a beautiful piece and ironically what I really needed to hear last night. I teared up several times at the message and I'm grateful for a reminder of why I was feeling the way I was. "Prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart oh take and seal it..." It's powerful and true. and when the organ comes in...wow! Little Amy did an amazing job cranking out that awesomly powerful organ part. We got a standing ovation of a packed house. I remembered why I am a music major.
Speaking of which, I finally feel like I've gotten off this plateau I've been on for the past year and half or so. I don't know what happened but all the sudden I find myself progressing rapidly and it's really encouraging! Kathy likes it as well, though she is not happy about my decision to go on a mission in June, but, I'm glad it's not ultimately up to her. I'm so excited to get out there and work! Every mission prep class just gets me more and more excited to share something so amazing. I've seen the changing power of this message and I can't wait to share it with those who are ready to hear it.
Today is looking up to be pretty beautiful as well. I slept in until 10 and didn't actually get out of bed till 10:30. I made my favorite breakfast, actually did my hair and am now about ready to get dressed and head up to the university to practice for a few hours. Then some friendage time will be awesome!
I should probably leave now for the bus. A UTA, what would I do without thee?

Signing off! See you next time....or maybe before.

For the birthday girl(s)....

It is indeed great to be back in school after a much too long week break! I'm tired again. Wonderfully, amazingly, feel good tired, like I'm actually getting something done! I've been working up my practicing back to where it should be but it will take several more days I think. And I've never felt so on top of homework but that might correspond with the fact that I've never had only 15 credits before. It feels great.
There was a huge mishap at the Univeristy today and it was really scary not knowing what was going on for a while. Nick called his mom and I called mine and we found out something about a broken gas line, explosive conditions apply. They ended up evacuating. It's a weird thing to think about but I found it fascinating how many people pulled together to make something like this run smoothly and with as little concern as possible. It was encouraging to see how quick and well people can respond to a disaster when it's really needed.
After that, my friend Nick and I went to Acme Burger Co. which I highly recommend! It's on the more expensive side but heavens it's not exactly your same old common burger joint! The modern feel and delcious lamb burger were definitly worth the money if you can find the time and money.
FYE called our names and we had a grand time browsing the well stocked "used" section and got a few classics. "Dan in real life" was probably my favorite and as we watched it, I felt quite content with how my birthday was playing out. I decided it would be wise to come back home after that, where i was unexpectadly sung to by my silly (in a good way) grandparents and uncle, followed soon with cake with whipped cream and strawberries. It was delicious and so sweet of them!
As of eleven minutes ago (10:34, to be exact) I entered my 21st year of life, offically making me legal. Wahoo...I think this might be a little more exciting if drinking interested me in the least. *shrug* It was a wonderful birthday, relaxing, chill and completely what I wanted to do! I'm blessed with amazing friends and got an overwhelming amount of birthday wishes, even from those I haven't spoken to in quite a while! Yay for facebook reminding them of my brithday. :)
My haircut is something I'm really starting to enjoy! It is flippy and fun and much more managable, which I am always okay with naturally. I do sometimes miss my long hair though.
Another update and countdown: MTC here I come! two months and seventeen days! I can't wait to get out there and working hard! I know it's what I should be doing and I'm very grateful for that. Just for a future FYI I am speaking on May 31st in the Plain City 3rd ward and would like to see as many people out there as would like to come.
I should really head to bed now...my eyes are threatening to slam shut without my permission!

Signing off from my grammy's kitchen and dial up internet...
Goodnight!

PS Happy Birthday Sister!(who turned 21 only four minutes after I)

For spring break...

So....Spring break is almost over, thank goodness...i'm ready for structure and more to live for than just TV and computer! I want to practice again, which means my stitches need to be gone. I want to not lay on this couch and watch Life and TLC.
Today was a beautiful day! Rarely are days as beautiful as today. It felt like heaven, and that is no exaggeration. it was not too hot or too cold and the breeze was refreshing! I am grateful for this earth and for beautiful days like today. I love nature and this beautiful green earth God has created for us!
The family went to this charming restaurant up in huntsville for birthday dinners. It was called Jackson Fork Inn Restaurant and I do suggest it to people looking for something new. It's a bit of drive but the atmosphere was charming and the food was fabulous with a great menu, something for everyone. After we ate, we five girls went to hastings and walmart and had a great time buying no bake cheesecake and meet the robinsons, which we are watching and eating right now. It's been a really wonderful day! I enjoyed it very much once I finally got out of the house.
I did it...I cut my hair. It is no the shortest it's been in...12 1/2 years! My neck feels strangely cold. It was hard, but I did it and it feels strangely exhilarating.
I get to go to provo with Jess tomorrow for some missionary shopping! Wish us luck!

For wheels...

Spinning momentum
Loosen rusty gears
Chip
Iron showers
Of red.

Moaning tempos
Metallic groans
Turn to creaks
and shrieks

Speeding up
Rolling drone
Circle
The metal wheels



So I'm on spring break right now and bored out of my mind. I can't practice, because my mom is worried about my healing mouth for the wisdom teeth pulling, which actually went very very well.
Dr. Jessen is a great oral surgeon, and once they got the IV in me(which took about a half an hour), the actual surgery only took about twenty minutes. The laughing gas was not fun to me. I hated the feeling of not being in complete control of my body. It gave me a headache and it made the lights about ten times brighter. But, it was over soon. I didn't feel much pain and only had to take three or four Loratab the entire recovery process. Swelling was almost completely absent. So, I was grateful that my prayers were answered and that I had a good doctor.
Spring break is boring though. Mom and I started Missionary Clothes shopping and that is supra fun! I'm just not really sure how to look like a missionary...but I just couldn't wait! And today we bought my birthday present together, which kinda takes the surprise out of it, but I knew what I was getting anyway. New Scriptures! They are pretty blue and real leather and will last me for a long while now. The ones I was given when I was 8 aren't really cutting it any more because they are falling apart.
I turn 21 in five days, ten hours and twelve minutes. It's crazy how quickly it's come. While I have enough time in my life to make it worth while? I hope so...there's a lot of people on this earth, but i'll make my mark somehow.

(This picture I took at the edge of town today; I should get up this early every morning for the amazing pictures!)
Reporting from Plain City....

For shakespeare...

This one's for you.....

A Sonnet Attempt, Wisdom Teeth and Spring Break
By Melanie Perhson
March 16, 2009

No rhyme can I describe when I do try
To keep the rules a sonnet passes through
No beat flows by upon the words I cry
There is no justice to this system brews.

I am the victim of the structured way
Just like so many who are lost in rhyme
A sun that no more brings much wanted rays
Perhaps it will go smoother at another time

Yet, here I write my woes of rhymes long past
What can I do about this creativity?
Or lack thereof as the case may be to rest,
It is a truth these rhymes are forced from me.

What else could I have done on my spring break?
Recovering from the pain my toothful wisdom take.



That is all...reporting from the same couch i've been on for the past three days...gross, I know.
*~Mel~*

For the wise...

It has finally happened! After months from the time I began my mission papers, I recieved my call in the mail this last wednesday! My little sister called me with the news and I headed up right after a brilliant wind ensemble rehearsal.
After making it to the pleasent view frontrunner station, mom picked me up and headed to the park n' ride to pick up jess, who I very much wanted to be there for the epic opening.
And epic it was! Once all of my family, (minus Ayleen sadly) It took me about five minutes to open it because I was so nervous! But I got the courage and read these epic words:

"You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Arizona Phoenix Mission. It is anticipated that you wil serve for a period of 18 months."

A huge swell of relief and joy entered my heart, finally knowing where I will be for the next year and a half. Good news for all you people who are going to write me letters *wink wink* I'll only be a state away. Snow and cold will definitely not be an issue as I will be entering the mission field in June, therefore enjoying the sizzling hottness of 120 degree weather. Wahoo!

So, with that bit of exciting news....wish me luck on my wisdom teeth surgery this day. I'm supra nervous about the sedation portion of it. I've never had any sort of surgery my entire life unless you count the 3 stitches I recieved in my finger when I was 8, which I don't. It is simply a weird thought that a bunch of people will be sticking their hands in my mouth and cutting it open while I'm "sleeping." I know...I think way too much about things.

Anyway, reporting from frontrunner Farmington station, over and out!

for my life....

1- Learn the guitar, or jazz, or both, or the trumpet, or the cello...or all
2- Skydive(i know how cliche)
3- Be in choir again
4- Serve a mission
5- Temple and family (technically that's two but definitely is considered one)
6- Graduate with a Master's in something I love
7- Eat authentic Italian
8- Snowboard
9- Cook a seven course meal
10- Learn to speak in accents, or even better, speak several languages
11- Take a dance class
12- Compose...something
13- Make a difference...to someone.


I can't get passed number thirteen? Isn't that bad luck or something?

for the future missionary...

Well, how are you all? Me again! (who else would it be?)
It's been a relaxing sabbath day so far, and I'm about to make some chocolate chip brownies with my sister. I know what you are thinking. Me? Bake? but...I'm having a craving and it's a good way to spend a relaxing sunday afternoon with the family.
Classes are going well. As you can see, I'm thoroughly enjoying my creative writing class and Wind Ensemble is better than I ever imagined it! Class Piano will be the death of me, but music history will bring me back. The three institute classes I have help me start and end the day off right. PS Isiah rocks!
Job hunting is starting to get ridiculously discouraging and I might have to break my promise to myself about never going the fast food route...But I am trying.
And most importantly. My mission papers are in! or they will be in officially but noon tomorrow. I should be getting my call within three weeks(longest three weeks of my life!). I'm supra excited. I just want to know where I'll be spending the next year and a half of my life sharing the gospel! Wish me Luck!
I think it's about time to make those brownies!

for the late nights....

Chloe's story is finished! I am turning it in tomorrow at 12:25 to be torn apart, yay!





The overcast sky threatened rain, so Chloe grabbed her green plaid umbrella that hung on a coat rack next to her door. She’d never been fond of the cold rain common in downtown Loren. Wet socks make for cold feet, which in Chloe’s opinion, was one of the worst feelings in the world.
Shrugging, smiling down at her rainboot-clad feet, she stepped outside. Popping up her collar against the beating wind and rain, she shook open her umbrella in one swift swoop. Splashing through puddles, she set a brisk pace towards work.


The click-tap-tick of fingers on keyboards began to lull Chloe into daydreams as she sat studying droplets sliding down the glass pane windows of her office six stories up. In front of her lay the hundredth “next great American novel” of the week. Her eyes drooped. A world of grand adventures, great escapes and forbidden romances of her own began to take shape.
An alarming thump caused Chloe to jump and her eyes shot right back open as soon as they had closed. At once, she spied the large manila folder that had caused the ruckus. Stifling a groan, Chloe’s gaze moved up to Mr. Murrwood’s beady red glare.
The chair squeaked under her as she leaned away from his invading face that was much too close for comfort. “Get to work. Time is money, Burnam!” The familiar odor of coffee and cigarette breath made Chloe’s eyes water.
“Yes, sir.” It was barely audible. There was a lot more Chloe would’ve said, if she could. But, she merely averted her eyes to the large stack of manuscripts that would fill her afternoon. She only looked up when she heard Mr. Murrwood strutting away, clearly in charge. To her left, Stacy—the only person who made working at Loren Publishing bearable—offered an encouraging smile. Chloe returned a meek chuckle, shrugged and rolled her eyes, pulling the yellow folder toward her


A sigh escaped Chloe’s lips as her wide emerald-green eyes stared into the seawater blueness of her tropical fish tank. She was back at her apartment for dinner. Chin resting heavily on her folded arms, slowly rotating back and forth on the swivel chair underneath her, Chloe considered how remarkably similar her life was to the life of that bright yellow tropical angel fish, now making its 57th lap of the hour (Chloe had counted).
She blinked, on the verge of slumber, attempting to push aside the stress of her lengthy “to do” list, avoiding the inevitable. These lists, organized in a tidy blue notebook grasped under Chloe’s folded arms, never left her sight, for they contained her logically sequenced life clearly—numbered and in nice, neat cursive.
Peeling her eyes from the hypnotizing circular path of her fish, she glanced at the clock to her left, over her orderly bed and full book shelves. “5:23 already?” she muttered. Rolling her eyes, she twisted out of her swivel desk chair, allowing it to spin slowly to a stop on its own, swinging her backpack over her right shoulder. As she did, she noticed numbness in her left arm. “Great!” She thought, as her heart pumped rushing blood back into her arm, tingles and pins and all.

The sky looked brighter. The clouds even parted enough to allow some blue to shine through. The sun was trying; she had to give it credit for that. Despite its efforts, Chloe shivered. Pulling her jacket tighter, she headed up Kerby Avenue.
Chloe could’ve walked to the Loren Community College blindfolded. After all, it was the same walk she’d been taking for the last year and a half. That day, the thought of Accounting and Business statistics, however, made the familiar walk very difficult. She lumbered in the almost-warm late afternoon sunlight, delaying the long evening of lectures and numbers as much as possible. She was still clinging to her blue notebook.
Walking into the familiar room with off-white brick walls and brown desks, Chloe slumped into a desk on the third row. Her backpack dropped to the floor. She smiled to a girl sitting next to her and they exchanged the usual “hi’s” and “how are you’s.”
“Okay, class, let’s get started.” Mr. Hugh’s nasal voice pierced through the drone of chatter. His skinny, tall frame was awkward, just like his lectures and soon, Chloe’s mind began to wander. She was finding it harder and harder to keep her reliable numbers from melting together, losing their clarity. In a way, that made Chloe angry.
The fog of her daydream dissipated just as Mr. Hugh was giving out his four page homework assignment, odd numbers only, due Tuesday. He grinned; his students groaned; Chloe frowned. Numbers were becoming her enemy.
Pulling out her blue notebook, she opened to today’s date and made a quick checkmark in the penciled box next to “Accounting.” Fluid strokes of her pen wrote pages 265-269, odd numbers only in the blank spaces underneath the column of uniform checkmarks. Her face contorted and she let out a heavy sigh. After a few goodbyes, she put her life back in her bag and headed out the door. There were still a few blank boxes, waiting to be checked.


“Daydreaming again, huh? Chloe, Mr. Murrwood would not be pleased.” Chloe’s jousting adventure in a far away land was interrupted by Stacy’s warning. It was a nice day for daydreaming, she thought, looking at the blue sky and bright sunlight through her office window six stories up. Chloe twisted to see Stacy in the grey neighboring cubicle to her left and giggled.
“You’re right, Stacy. I need to keep my head out of the clouds. Who knows when Mr. Woodblock will come storming around the corner, breathing fire and orders?” Stacy couldn’t help but giggle, too.
Just then, as if summoned, Mr. Murrwood (Mr. Woodblock to his acquaintances) swung open his office door, making sure his existence was known.
“Right on time,” muttered Stacy, glancing at the clock. She spun back to her computer keyboard and resumed her click-tap-tick typing. Chloe pretended to read the third manuscript of the day, but was acutely aware of Mr. Murrwood’s invasive presence. She started at page 63 for a whole minute, not soaking in one word.
Every week day at 1:30 PM, Mr. Murrwood would sweep his critical eye over the dull office and nod with satisfaction, believing he was fooling everyone into thinking he knew everything there is to know about the publishing business.
He sauntered around the office, hands clasped behind his back. Stopping at Chloe’s desk, his dirty fingers thumbed through the manila folder he had handed her yesterday. Furrowing her eyebrows, Chloe’s blood began to heat.
“And what have you been doing, my dear?”
Chloe shuddered at the thought of Woodblock calling her “dear.” Not only did he call her “dear” but he actually had the nerve to call her his dear. She pressed her lips and turned to page 64 without knowing anything that had happened on page 63, or on any previous page for that matter.
“Haven’t gotten very far, have you. My dear.”
Blood boiling now, Chloe looked up with her eyes flashing. She’d had enough. Mr. Murrwood seemed startled by the sparks. So startled in fact, that he took a step back. His ridiculous know-it-all grin faltered.
Chloe stood, placing the manuscript opened to page 64 on the desk. She picked up her bag, swinging it over her shoulder. Her face flushed red from the fast blood her heart was pumping.
As she walked around her desk, she saw Stacy out of the corner of her eye giggling at her boss’s bewildered face.
“Hey..wa…wait….you can’t…”
Chloe smiled and kept walking.



Sooo? any suggestions?

Reporting from Grammy's Kitchen....GOODNIGHT!

for the creative soul...

So once upon a time, I was out of my mind and joined a college creative writing class....this is the beginning of my story.



A sigh escaped Chloe’s lips as her wide emerald-green eyes stared into the seawater blueness of her tropical fish tank. Chin resting heavily on her folded arms, slowly rotating back and forth on the swivel chair underneath her, Chloe considered how remarkably similar her life was to the life of that bright yellow tropical angel fish, now making its 57th lap of the day (Chloe had counted).
She blinked, on the verge of slumber, attempting to push aside the stress of her overwhelmingly long “to do” list, avoiding the inevitable. The notebook grasped under Chloe’s folded arms never left her sight, for it contained her logically sequenced life clearly—numbered and in nice, neat cursive.
Peeling her eyes from the hypnotizing circular path of her fish, she glanced at the clock to her left, over her orderly bed and book shelves. “8:23 already?” she muttered. Rolling her eyes, she twisted out of her swivel desk chair, allowing it to spin slowly to a stop on its own, swinging her backpack over her right shoulder. As she did, she noticed for the first time numbness in her left arm. “Great!” She thought, as her heart pumped rushing blood back into her arm, tingles and pins and all.


I am starting to think I'm not so bad at this. And even if I am and don't know, it was darn fun!

for the unhelpful...

I am home on a friday night, in my pjs, wishing I could find my check book and I'm having a feeling this will be happening a lot more from tonight on. Not the wishing I could find my check book part. You know what I mean.
I made it through my first week of school and I think I'm going to be enjoying this semester's classes immensely. Music History I already find amazing as we have been exploring the wonderful music of Palestrina and I have to say, we don't give him enough credit. He composed some stunningly beautiful pieces. My creative writing teacher, while a little ecentric will definitely do some good things for me, I think. If anything, I'll definitely be out of my comfort zone. Good thing, right? Wind Ensemble is everything I had hoped! Also out of my comfort bubble, becuase I am very exposed, even as a third clarinet. Scott Hagan has a lot of good instruction to offer and I'm excited to be part of such a talented group/section.
The U of U marching Utes are leaving for DC tomorrow at night at midnight. Or would that be considered sunday morning? *shrug* that seems surreal, almost like it's just a dream. We've been campaigning for this oppirtunity for the past week and had an astounding response from the community with support that I didn't even know existed for the band! Heck, we even got free backpacks!
I'm hoping for a call from the flower patch to get a temporary job. I had a job interview with them today and thought it went very well. It would be nice to have some sort of income. Cross your fingers for me!
Frustration is annoying! Knowing that ultimately, I can't do anything to change someones mind about what they think...it seems I'm making little difference where I am, and I really am frustarted with that. I see so many people around me who are hurting and I want to help, but feel unhelpful! Hurting more than helping it seems.
I really dislike that I have nothing more interesting to say and a more interesting way to say what's already been said...
I hope everyone is doing alright, and making it with whatever situation life may be handing them. Thank you for your examples and friendship:-) I mean it when I say I love you.

Until next time, wish the band luck in DC!

for the first day back...

First day of classes? Completed!

Fundraising for DC? Going swimmingly, but we are still needing some help! (www.utah.edu) GO UTES!

Letter and pictures from a dear friend? Check!

People should not have to apologize for caring....

for the old friends and the new...

School starts tomorrow! I'm excited to not have my brain be turning to mush anymore. I'm excited for the oppirtunities this semester has in store! We, the U of U marching band, are (hopefully) headed off to DC in a week ready for some fun at the presidental inaugaration parade! Also, I am part of a wonderful music group, Wind Ensemble and several exciting things are happening in that department, but personally, I'm just happy to be IN it period.

I have not been this happy in a long time. Randomly, my dear cousin Ember drove down yesterday to take me up to Logan. I didn't know what I was getting myself into! We headed out to see my sister Clarissa and played a goofy but oddly very fun game called settler's. Next was the part I was most worried about, but it turned out to be great. We went to a former boyfriend's apartment. He has just started at USU as a chemistry major. I know most can relate to the awkward "seeing the ex" thing, and for those of you who can't, that's okay. Imagine my surprise when we turned out to get along great, just like old friends.
Seeing Karyn for the first time since, well, forever, was a quite joyous experience. You can ask anyone within a mile radius because I am pretty sure we burst some eardrums. There were almost tears, but once the game of Quelf started rolling(if you have never played this game, basically, you must), laughter was constant! New friendships were formed, and old bonds were made stronger, and the medicine of laughter worked it's magic, for more then just me.
A bit of guilt comes with the next statment. I sometimes wished I had choosen USU over Univeristy of Utah. I know, I know! Blasphamy right? If anyone has ever heard me talk about my snow college years, they know how dear to my heart they are, and USU has the atmosphere of snow. Now, I just want to say, I do not regret my deicison to go to the U, becuase, I know I was meant to be there...am meant to be there. I learned so much about the world and have formed life long friendships that I would never trade. But for the record, I am considering a transfer when I return from my planned mission. Just a thought....

Anyway, my five fourty five alarm will come too soon as it is, so I should turn in. I hope everyone's life is going well.

I am honest when I say I am here for you all!

Reporting from Plain City, sleep well.

for the college student

As you already know--you being the one follower I currently have--job hunting was less than succesful today. If I spoke spanish, I'd be a shoe in! Too bad.... I might just have to break down and apply at Harmons, the grocer in YOUR neighborhood. Yikes!

I have been doing the college thing for two and a half, almost three years and I love its ups and downs, but I suppose the expense had to catch up to me sometime. Thank goodness for loving parents and scholarship money! Even so, I need a job because my bank account is running on fumes. If any of you...being just one currently...have any suggestions, they would be much appreciated.

I have a good life. Actually, a really good life, though it is not without a bit of heartache and struggles. But then again, in the words of the ever so famous Forrest Gump, "It Happens." I have been blessed with an amazing family who loves me, friends who care about me and a perspective that is eternal. I am shy at first and maybe a little bit after, too, but I hope no one confuses that for coldness, which sometimes does happen. I love being around people and learning from their lives.

My marching band, the Marching Utes, have a stupendous oppirtunity to go to THE presidential inauguration in about fifteen days to support our soon to be Commander and Chief Obama. Please go to http://www.utah.edu and donate!

It will take me a few tries to get the hang of this blogging thing, but it'll catch on.

Reporting from UTA Front runner ... Have a lovely night.

An introduction

Every good story needs an introduction, wouldn't you say?

A beginning of procastination. How do you start that?
Easy I suppose...

Welcome!

to my life...

Dedicated to my family, my friends and my God. without them, this life would not have been possible. Literally...