So...It's been awhile. And it's been a busy long while, full of preparations, to do's and last minute fun times. I would call them last minute goodbye times, but goodbyes always sound far too final and impersonal. So I'm going to call them fun times.
I'm feeling good about how the way things are playing out these last three weeks before my mission. I'm getting a lot done and squared away. I still don't comprehend the length of year and a half, but i understand it more and more every day. I got a 4.0 GPA, I have my leave of absence in, I finally got a real driver's license (Yay!) and my tetnus and Hep A shots are done. Now all I have to do is start packing and pick up a few last minute items that I may have forgotten. 19 days! :D It is a really exciting thing to finally be leaving. I get to go out and serve the Lord. Sacrifice my time for God (D&C 4:4) and help others to be happy. I am grateful for friends who keep my prespective in line, who remind me when I forget. (Things that are sure: 1- God 2- Love 3- Change) I won't be forgotten and I'll come back and be blessed and happy. "Be of good cheer..." (1 John 16:33) I'm grateful that prayers are answered. I woke up this morning after a rough night of questions and tears (what else, I cry too much. I cry when I'm sad, angry, happy, frustrated, upset, guiltridden...) to have my eyes come across President Monson's talk on change and enduring it well.
"Our future is as bright as our faith." That really struck me. I realize that it is when I lose prespective on my goals, life spirals and I have a hard time forgetting myself and I wallow. But when I am faithful, and believe in myself and have something to strive for, the murkiness isn't so intimidating anymore. Anyway, his talk was an answer to prayers. I'm grateful God is sure and consistant. My mission is the most important thing in the world to me. Even when I cry about leaving.
I went to Lagoon today. Blast from the past I tell you what! I got to goof off with a bunch of twelve year old boy crazy girls. It was nuts. Fun, exhausting, worth it. I feel like a bad "babysitter" because I didn't make one of them drink enough water and I think she might've gotten heat stroke. Disorientation and nausea and the like....I will learn from that that's for sure. It was fun, but I think I've had my fill of Lagoon for the next three years or so.
I am exhausted so I think I will hit the hay. I would just like to end with a few last things.
get better
thank you for the blanket, I love it.
please don't get married while i'm gone?...or if you do, make sure it's someone I like.
thank you for hearing me.
thank you for letting me cry.
Find ways to be happy.
Sweetheart
How I miss your heart
Beating next to mine
The right words
Were always hard to find
When all our time was fine
When darling you were mine, all mine
And I know, I know you had no choice
But I how I miss your voice
Singing right with mine
Flesh of my flesh
Soul of my soul
I come back home
All this darkness, cannot hurt us
Cause they made you from the light
Here on birthplace, don't be nervous
You will make it through, this night
Sweetheart
How I miss your heart
Beating next to mine
Flesh of my flesh
Soul of my soul
I come back home
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