It's so close. I've been preparing for so long that I can't believe that it is getting to be so close and I'll be gone for a whole year and a half.
Change is not my thing, but for it not being my thing, i sure do a lot of it!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
for bioengineers...
It's been quite the week so far, and it has flown by! I played in master class an tuesday which went swimmingly. Better then swimmingly in fact. Glidingly perhaps? In any case, I had fun and loved performing the first two movements of the Finzi five Bagatelle's. Everyone else did extrodinary as well and I fell in love with the sound of the clarinet all over again.
Wednesday was also quite specatcular. I had great classes, I understood Form and Analysis, wind ensemble is always a good thing and I got to spend an hour downtown taking pictures again. Wow, how I love photography! I want to explore it more once i return from my mission.
Today was JAM packed. I got up early to take my grandparents to the airport. My uncle is getting married this weekend over in Pennsylvania. How exciting! We've been hoping it would happen for a long time now. My uncle is following tomorrow, which means the house will be completely empty! Institute was particularly needed, especially for what portion of Ether we were on today. I love Brother Wilcox and his remarkable teaching skills.
My mom came and picked me up after piano and we headed off to the distrubution center. I'm going through the temple next saturday! I'm very excited. Not only is it the bountiful temple but many of my family members will be able to attend. =-D It was great to spend a few hours talking to my mom. I have been blessed with wonderful parents and a loving family. I don't know how I got to be so blessed, but I'm not going to complain about it!
Creative writing was next, which is always a good class, cept i forgot my assignments that i stayed up so late last night doing. That was a little frustrating. But derek was very understanding, and things will get worked out. Thank goodness for email!
Next came Karyn! Oh How i love and miss her. She came down to surprise her boyfriend and to see me. It wasn't the normal "hanging out" as we spent all evening at a Medical Bioengineering symposium at the WEB building on campus. As dull as some may find it, I LOVED it. It was completely out of my element, and though I had a hard time connecting at times, and some things just went completely over my head, there were some things that i just couldn't stop asking questions about.
For instance, did you know that venom from poisnous animals are used very often in the production of drugs to help dieases by trageting only the mutant cells that might be causing it? One presentation discussed the advantages of using a slightly altered form of Cone Snail venom to fight very specific cells that cause neurological dieases in the Striatum(which controls fine motery skills and a few other things) completely elimnating parkinson's disease. I wondered if this kind of research could help people with the disease ASL, which my grandfather died from before I got a chance to know him on this earth. This was just one among many, many presentations that I thoroughly enjoyed. It was a whole new world (now that song is ny head! lame!) and I enjoyed exploring it. And meeting Karyn's boyfriend finally, that was good too.
finals are soon, but it feels strange to not feel as tight for time as I think I should be. I'm studying and working hard, but I feel like I'm missing something because..well idk, it just feels like there is something i'm missing. I shouldn't be this relaxed. I'm almost excited to be out of school, but only almost. I'll miss everyone.
Anyway, it's about time I made it to bed.
Farewell.
Wednesday was also quite specatcular. I had great classes, I understood Form and Analysis, wind ensemble is always a good thing and I got to spend an hour downtown taking pictures again. Wow, how I love photography! I want to explore it more once i return from my mission.
Today was JAM packed. I got up early to take my grandparents to the airport. My uncle is getting married this weekend over in Pennsylvania. How exciting! We've been hoping it would happen for a long time now. My uncle is following tomorrow, which means the house will be completely empty! Institute was particularly needed, especially for what portion of Ether we were on today. I love Brother Wilcox and his remarkable teaching skills.
My mom came and picked me up after piano and we headed off to the distrubution center. I'm going through the temple next saturday! I'm very excited. Not only is it the bountiful temple but many of my family members will be able to attend. =-D It was great to spend a few hours talking to my mom. I have been blessed with wonderful parents and a loving family. I don't know how I got to be so blessed, but I'm not going to complain about it!
Creative writing was next, which is always a good class, cept i forgot my assignments that i stayed up so late last night doing. That was a little frustrating. But derek was very understanding, and things will get worked out. Thank goodness for email!
Next came Karyn! Oh How i love and miss her. She came down to surprise her boyfriend and to see me. It wasn't the normal "hanging out" as we spent all evening at a Medical Bioengineering symposium at the WEB building on campus. As dull as some may find it, I LOVED it. It was completely out of my element, and though I had a hard time connecting at times, and some things just went completely over my head, there were some things that i just couldn't stop asking questions about.
For instance, did you know that venom from poisnous animals are used very often in the production of drugs to help dieases by trageting only the mutant cells that might be causing it? One presentation discussed the advantages of using a slightly altered form of Cone Snail venom to fight very specific cells that cause neurological dieases in the Striatum(which controls fine motery skills and a few other things) completely elimnating parkinson's disease. I wondered if this kind of research could help people with the disease ASL, which my grandfather died from before I got a chance to know him on this earth. This was just one among many, many presentations that I thoroughly enjoyed. It was a whole new world (now that song is ny head! lame!) and I enjoyed exploring it. And meeting Karyn's boyfriend finally, that was good too.
finals are soon, but it feels strange to not feel as tight for time as I think I should be. I'm studying and working hard, but I feel like I'm missing something because..well idk, it just feels like there is something i'm missing. I shouldn't be this relaxed. I'm almost excited to be out of school, but only almost. I'll miss everyone.
Anyway, it's about time I made it to bed.
Farewell.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
for friends...
Well it has been quite the amazing sabbath. Remarkable even. (That is my new favorite word, remarkable) Anyway, I've seen several friends that have just barely got back from their missions. The first I had to literally do a triple take before I recognized him! It was at the Plain city singles ward with my sister. Anyway, after I was sure it was him, we talked for a good while but we still gots some catching up to do! And then at the weber state concerto concert tonight that my sister was in, I saw my good clarinet pal casey wood from high school weber district! Talk about blast from the blast! he just got back two weeks ago. It's funny, as I'm leaving everyone seems to be coming back. But they all say it's the best thing I'll ever do and I completely believe them!
After the concert I was able to talk to my bestest friend JessiKa. Oh how i miss her! I don't know what I'll do without her around to call anytime and leave a message. She is my soul sister, a true kindred spirit as anne with an e would say. I was also blessed to be able to catch up with nicole and brad and katie and a few others. They are just a funny group of people, and I miss being around them. I'm excited for the trip to the cabin in may to spend even more time laughing and talking.
I also said goodbye to my friend Camie who leaves for the MTC on wednesday and planned an all nighter with Jessica so we can talk and catch up before I leave.
Today is the kind of the day that I remember I am surrounded by people who I love and who love me. I have been so blessed with amazing friends, as well as a wonderful family of adorable sisters and wonderful parents who support me. I haven't had to deal with a lot of hurt or struggles in this life and i forget how easy I have it sometimes. Thank to all those who stick by me, even through my mistakes!
I should probably get to bed. I have to get up in six hours! School is almost over, just giving that last push for that 4.0! (crossing my fingers!)
After the concert I was able to talk to my bestest friend JessiKa. Oh how i miss her! I don't know what I'll do without her around to call anytime and leave a message. She is my soul sister, a true kindred spirit as anne with an e would say. I was also blessed to be able to catch up with nicole and brad and katie and a few others. They are just a funny group of people, and I miss being around them. I'm excited for the trip to the cabin in may to spend even more time laughing and talking.
I also said goodbye to my friend Camie who leaves for the MTC on wednesday and planned an all nighter with Jessica so we can talk and catch up before I leave.
Today is the kind of the day that I remember I am surrounded by people who I love and who love me. I have been so blessed with amazing friends, as well as a wonderful family of adorable sisters and wonderful parents who support me. I haven't had to deal with a lot of hurt or struggles in this life and i forget how easy I have it sometimes. Thank to all those who stick by me, even through my mistakes!
I should probably get to bed. I have to get up in six hours! School is almost over, just giving that last push for that 4.0! (crossing my fingers!)
Saturday, April 18, 2009
for the weekend...
Aaahh, weekends. A refreshing breeze of lazy procrastination I always seem to need.
I made it through the week and I for one feel that to be a wonderful accomplishment. Full of concerts, tests, homework, reading and everything, I wasn't sure what battle wounds I might recieve, but I made it out with barely a scratch. In fact, my renewed sense of direction in life is refreshing. I remembered why music is my major and for the first time in my life I don't feel like I'm drowning in homework and finals at the end of the semester. It's more of a wading against waste deep current at this point.
Fifty three days until I leave on my mission. Where does the time go?
Seventeen days until I'm officially done with my Jr. Year of college. I've made it this far! (But am considering a change...Dun, dun, duuuun. Who'd've thunk?)
Fourteen days until I am able to go to through the temple. How exciting!
Three days until I play in master class. Wish me luck!
Today was a good day. I went to Orem with two dear friends from high school (clarinets rule!). We went to the sister missionary mall and i bought some final touches on some final outfits and I'm quite pleased with how things went down. Bed bath and beyond was next and we just spent an hour or so just look at shower heads and bathroom towels! It was quite fun and made me want to have my own apartment to decorate however i want to. I'm thinking green tones for the bathroom. I also think it would be fascinating to base some of my "interior decorating" around the photos I take. I love photography...a lot.
Sometimes I just get so frustrated with my lack of ability to help people. I care about and worry about people. It's just what I do. I want to help. I have this strong, overwhelming desire to do so. But, I lack the tact and the ability for it. It seems what little comfort I have to offer, what little of myself I can give, they won't take and dismiss with a "you just don't understand." And I don't. I don't understand, and I probably wouldn't know what to do with it if I did have that understanding. I see people suffering and hurting and I feel like I have to be happy for everyone and when I can't be,(sometimes i'm not happy enough for myself) I just give up and shrink back and have to endure watching them be miserable, waiting for them to be okay. I pray they'll be okay, and i pray that i'll be able to be there when they are.
Friday, April 3, 2009
for nights like these...
Some nights are for thinking. You know the type, when your mind seems to be wrapped up in past and future both at the same time and a sense of nostalgia sweeps over you, but excitement and a little of fear of the future push their way into your gut? The 'shoulda coulda woulda's" tugging at the heart strings and the shoulds woulds coulds seem to be so many. I'm not sure why, but the acoustic guitar always seems to be the instrument of choice at times like this...weird.
tonight, is one of those nights.
I can't help but feel tangible change push into my life. (tangible isn't the right word, but sometimes, it doesn't matter). It's a simple anaology but it's like the changeing of the seasons that I love so much. The seasons changing is something that I really love about Utah. Exciting, crisp, fresh. That's how i feel now, and perhaps it's amplified by the first appearance of something that was trying to be a spring rain yesterday. But in any case, there is a shift that has occured, even within the last week. I'm trying not to be afraid of it.
General Conference begins tomorrow. Or rather...later today. I am more than excited to have the church gathering and to hear the words of God through his prophets, and for the oppirtunity to assemble together. Thank you technology! Despite the views of any, no one can deny what a wonderful, truly charitable person President Thomas S. Monson is. I'm so excited to hear his soothing, comforting voice, telling his silly stories and telling us what God wants us to hear as a whole. (*shakes head* him and his photographic memory.) I'm grateful God does speak through him.
I know i get frustrated a lot. I know I make big deals out of little deals. I know "it's just a movie" and I know I should be in bed. I know people put up with so much from me. I get jealous and sometimes wish for things I shouldn't wish for and it makes me sick to think of things I've done/not done to make people hurt. I'm not the best at understanding and listening. I'm simply still getting the hang of this tightwire balance game called life...but I'm working on it. Slowly but surely pressing forward. So truly thank you to all those who love and forgive me for my short comings, which sometimes makes me overwhelmed and frustrated, which just makes the people around me more amazing because the put up with me being frustrated and hard headed! What a silly little vicious cycle.
Life is beautiful...just as my favorite movie of the week iterates. If you haven't ever seen it, i encourage you to. right now. serioulsy, go out and see it, and I promise you won't regret it. I've never been one to dislike life, there are so many little excitments and things to notice to dislike it, but, there is something about life that is so...that seems so...full of vitality? lol well..duh...I understand what I feel but not what I say so why say things at all? It just makes me sound like I'm being ridiculous. Well, maybe that's not such a bad thing.
tonight, is one of those nights.
I can't help but feel tangible change push into my life. (tangible isn't the right word, but sometimes, it doesn't matter). It's a simple anaology but it's like the changeing of the seasons that I love so much. The seasons changing is something that I really love about Utah. Exciting, crisp, fresh. That's how i feel now, and perhaps it's amplified by the first appearance of something that was trying to be a spring rain yesterday. But in any case, there is a shift that has occured, even within the last week. I'm trying not to be afraid of it.
General Conference begins tomorrow. Or rather...later today. I am more than excited to have the church gathering and to hear the words of God through his prophets, and for the oppirtunity to assemble together. Thank you technology! Despite the views of any, no one can deny what a wonderful, truly charitable person President Thomas S. Monson is. I'm so excited to hear his soothing, comforting voice, telling his silly stories and telling us what God wants us to hear as a whole. (*shakes head* him and his photographic memory.) I'm grateful God does speak through him.
I know i get frustrated a lot. I know I make big deals out of little deals. I know "it's just a movie" and I know I should be in bed. I know people put up with so much from me. I get jealous and sometimes wish for things I shouldn't wish for and it makes me sick to think of things I've done/not done to make people hurt. I'm not the best at understanding and listening. I'm simply still getting the hang of this tightwire balance game called life...but I'm working on it. Slowly but surely pressing forward. So truly thank you to all those who love and forgive me for my short comings, which sometimes makes me overwhelmed and frustrated, which just makes the people around me more amazing because the put up with me being frustrated and hard headed! What a silly little vicious cycle.
Life is beautiful...just as my favorite movie of the week iterates. If you haven't ever seen it, i encourage you to. right now. serioulsy, go out and see it, and I promise you won't regret it. I've never been one to dislike life, there are so many little excitments and things to notice to dislike it, but, there is something about life that is so...that seems so...full of vitality? lol well..duh...I understand what I feel but not what I say so why say things at all? It just makes me sound like I'm being ridiculous. Well, maybe that's not such a bad thing.
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