For the heavy hearts to carry...

Contrary to popular belief, Valentine's day was not invented by the hallmark card company to make more money and give reason to feel particularly sick to one's stomach about that recent break up many experience, inconveniently around this time of year.  Conflicting google search results (shocking) give a wide variety of explanations about the origin of the holiday, but there is a consensus.  It is ancient and usually is connected with bloodbaths or war.

I will not mince words.  I have a very difficult time with this holiday.  I think the biggest difficulty I have with it is that it gets to me every year.  The more I fight, the more I try to ignore it, somehow in some ways I ALWAYS feel a little less loved on this day.  Ironic yes?  And perhaps it is the fact that it's been thrown in my face over and over this week that I am, once again, single.  The hurting kind of single- clearly and recently and newly single.  Not the bad kind, just the hurting, heavy kind.  "I was a heavy heart to carry."

I do have a few thoughts of love these days.  It's wonderful to feel surrounded by the Love of others and I have been blessed with a life full of love.  Loving parents, loving sisters, loving roommates, and most important a Loving God.  Taking these things for granted most of my life, it's overwhelming how evident these things have been in the past few weeks, which have been, to be quite honest, some of the most difficult emotionally I can remember.  I LOVE that love never stops loving.  The more it is generated the more it generates in order to generate more.